Still Watching Bond Movie? We Are Being 007 In Campus!

Still dreaming about being as cool as 007? Students in some Chinese universities have already realized their spy dreams of wiping out evil persons from behind and, in secret.

A professor in Eastern China Politics And Law University is under investigation from the local public security bureau for his counterrevolutionary speech in class. The professor's filthy behavior of saying bad words about Chinese government and teaching students to think as independent people was finally exposed to the public thanks to the bold effort of two female Bond-like undergraduate students. This is not the first time evil professors get caught in China, but is the first case in which students' effort is publicly involved.

↓University students guarding their
beloved government, China.
"It's unendurable to insult the greatness and rightness of our government" says one of the heroine, "If our beloved government claims itself to be 'great, glorious and always right', then it IS!" When asked about her attitude toward the critics from China's 210 million netizens and other thinking people, the girl affirmed confidently:"It's just a very small group of people being jealous of our great socialism system and conspiring to beat us down. We won't fall for their evil words."

Inspired by the two "female Bonds'" victory over the counterrevolutionary force, universities around the country have been busy establishing new systems to promote spy actions to guard the virginity of socialism. Recruitment for "Information Agent" is being held in all campuses. "Information Agent" is responsible for watching on lecturers in universities and if any counterrevolutionary words came out, agents would report to universities' "Truth Department" (a special governmental department that decides what's true and what's not) and further steps will be taken. In reward, student agents will get privilege in all aspects including test scores, promotion in student union and entering higher school.

↓The Recently Recruited "Information Agents", China
(picture is photoshopped to keep the agents' identities secret)

What's more? You don't even have to be an agent to act like an agent. All students are encouraged to disclose counterrevolutionary words or behaviors from any people, especially the ones they're familiar with.

The "Everybody is 007" system is enthusiastically welcome by students who are members of the country's communist party. "The country's long and exciting history of 'betray for benefit' has finally revived! I've been waiting so long!" a student party member shed his tears, "I spiritually castrated myself to be a party member for privilege, but the rewarding was not as good as I expected. Now I can get more privilege by my own hard work on selling out people around me. This is the fair system I've been expecting! The harder you work, the more you get!"

It looks like even Mr. Bond will turn unbelievably vulnerable in front of the country's determination. "This is a sky net covering everybody" said a president of a university, "The system we've built even compares to what we had in the Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution. We feel relieved now because the 'greatness, glory and rightness' our government claim is secured."