No University Education For Students Not Kind To Parents

The chief officer of the admissions office of Beijing University, one of the two best universities in China (yes they only have two), recently claimed that there is no room for students who are not kind to their parents.

The chief officer came up with a guideline for applicants this year, which says to be enrolled, you have to be in lusty love with the university, be kind to your parents, be non-split in personality and lastly, hold a good score. According to the officer, the "be kind to your parents" rule originates from an ancient Chinese idiom says "how can you clean the world if you don't clean your own room?" He says it's beyond his imagination that a person who's not kind to his parents can benefit the nation.

But the expert panel of admission thinks it's it's too obvious to put it in the guideline. So they changed the "be kind to your parents" to "have your heart tied to the world". The chief officer won't give up. He swore to develop a series of measures to find out events indicating applicants' unkindness to their parents and reject them.

Also in this year's pre-recruitment (students pay money to meet with the university in advance to talk the recruiters into giving them unfair advantage points over students who don't do it), Beijing University will be offering an extra 10 points to students who are Beijing residents because the beijing students are too dull to have a fair play with students from other provinces. When doubted if the beijing students are really so dull, the school argued with the fact that even the examines for beijing students, compared to examines of other provinces, are ridiculously imbecilic, the average score of beijing students is still extremely low.

The Chinese netizens showed a strong resistance to the school's deflected offer to beijing students. Some of them suggest Beijing University change it's name to "Beijing's University"; some netizens doubted the officer's ability to detect students' unkindness to their parents; some express their opinion by greeting the officer's ancestors with intense words like "f@ck" "ass".

Beside, a worrying concern has been raised toward the "be kind" rule. According to another ancient Chinese idiom, "of the three unkindnesses to parents, the most guilty one is have no descendants." In this way, Beijing University is not likely to accept any China's senior high graduates for only a tiny portion of graduates could avoid getting defined as "unkind to parents" by the pissed officer. It would cause a serious crisis for the university if no students were accepted.

But it's not all bad news! A netizen has already figured out a way works both for the students and the university. Students could change there nationality to a foreign country then apply the university as foreign students. Because the university accepts almost any foreign students who can speak some Chinese and have lots of money, students with a rich family will all be able to get the best education in China's best university.

Maybe this is the result the admission chief had worked so hard for and it paid off!